Soursop Juice

Posted by on May 15, 2012
Soursop Juice

Soursop Juice

What’s in a name? More than you might think. For example, have you ever enjoyed a nice meal of slimehead fish? Oh no, of course not. That sounds disgusting! What about a delicious filet of orange roughy? That sounds so much more appetizing.

Surprise! “Orange roughy” is just the new and improved name for the yummy slimehead fish. The problem was, no one wanted to eat a slimehead fish, but everyone loves orange roughy. They love it so much that they’ve eaten almost all of the slimehe…”orange roughy” in the entire ocean.

Soursop ranks just above slimehead in terms of sounding like something you’d never want to eat in your entire life. Who would want to eat a fruit that’s sour? Not just sour, but soppy too. And look at it: it’s all full of seeds and covered with nasty-looking spines. It’s obviously terrible, so let’s not even try it.

Oh, but that’s what they want you to think! That’s why they’ve given this fruit so many unappetizing names: soursop, toge-banreisi, nangka blanda, and mullaatha, which literally means “thorny custard apple.” Another name for the soursop fruit is “durian benggala,” which should immediately turn your stomach if you know what a real durian smells like. But the soursop is no durian, and all of these names are part of the vast soursop conspiracy. The people who know about this fruit really like this fruit, and they don’t want all of you to go and devour it into extinction.

What the soursop should be called is “all-the-best-tropical-fruits-just-exploded-in-my-mouth-and-then-a-strawberry-got-in-there-too.” It’s like pineapple, orange, lemon, banana, coconut, and strawberry all in one. But the vast soursop conspiracy knows they can’t just go and tell people that, because then we Americans might decide we actually like fruit and start gorging ourselves on soursop until the entire world’s crop was gone within a week. So instead they tell us this fruit is sour, and soppy, and thorny, and it smells like raw sewage, while they happily go on eating their decidedly delicious “durians.”

Whatever you do, don’t tell them that I was the one who revealed the secret of the soursop. I only narrowly escaped my encounter with the East Mangoustanis, and the last thing I need is for another fruit cabal to put a price on my head.タロッコ デスク 幅90 おしゃれ 木製 完成品 机 書斎机 ライティングデスク 書斎デスク 3036 家具 輸入家具 イタリア家具 tarocco 猫脚 猫足
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One Response to Soursop Juice

  1. Bonobo

    No one is worried that bigoted americans are going to start liking their culture’s food enough to devour their foodstocks into extinction.

    Most americans are so closed minded that they taste with their prejudices not their tongues.
    The only thing that will get americans to jump onto the bandwagon is some phony medical claim about “superfoods”.

    Anyway, soursops are amazing, being a southeast asian I can attest to that.
    Sweet, clear white, foamy outer texture, the smooth seed pops out easily leaving chewy flesh that releases more and more flavour as you chew it. Sweet with a little sour. Think good sour, but not like any acidity you westerners are used to, it’s subtle and refreshing.

    Blended into a bubbly foamy juice or added as toppings to a iced dessert.

    By the way, durians are good too, try some good quality fresh ones.

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