Did I ever mention that Armenian Fungus Cake is not only the best blog, but in fact the best web site on the whole Internet? Why, as soon as this site appeared, there was really no point in even keeping the rest of the Internet around. Those crazy yahoos should have just shut down all of those googly tubes and gotten rid of all the other blogging spots, the wacky encyclopedias, and that guy’s enormous list. Face it: when you have Armenian Fungus Cake, you don’t even need books! Everything you could possibly ever need is right here, because this web site is absolutely perfect, and it’s the only source of anything you could ever want! Stop even thinking about those other sites! You don’t need them! This is all you need! This! THIS!
Oh, sorry. I’d just been eating Ego Peanut Sandwich Biscuits, and they always tend to give me a very high opinion of myself. You could say they give me an ego boost. I probably shouldn’t eat them too often, since they always get me into trouble like that, but with all their individually wrapped goodness that tastes like no other peanut snack in the world, I just can’t help myself. Any why would I need to help myself anyway? I mean, being one of the writers for the single most amazing thing ever to be created using the English language gives me the right to brag, don’t you think? Of course it does! You know, I hear they’re burning Shakespeare in New Zealand because it’s nothing more than a worthless dime-store novel compared to the incomparable literary masterpiece that is Armenian Fungus Cake! Are you even worthy to be reading this? I’m not so sure!
Uh, there were a couple of them left. Sorry again. They’re all gone now, I promise.
No more Ego Peanut Sandwich Biscuits. None at all. Really.
(Best. Web site. EVER!)