Monthly Archives: April 2015
Everyone is under pressure to be environmentally friendly these days. I mean, it seems like as soon as someone finds out that you converted your 1971 Volkswagen bus to run on charcoal, you have fifty Prius-driving protesters outside your headquarters. Apparently charcoal isn’t the most environmentally friendly fuel these days. How was I supposed to know that? I still haven’t even learned the Mangoustani language yet. I can’t be expected to keep up on all of these new fads like, say, gasoline.
I tried to explain to the protesters that I was currently researching a source of energy involving a new type of fusion, but that only seemed to upset them more. They accused me of being ridiculous and proceeded to form a human chain around the Fungusmobile. With no option of escape, I retreated inside and continued my fusion research.
To be more precise, I was researching the Lick Milk Chocolate Pumpkin & Sweet Potato Fusion Bar. I found it to be an unusual combination of chocolate, squash, and tuber. In spite of its astonishing amalgamation of ingredients, it was actually quite tasty. Unfortunately it proved to be ineffective at powering a 1971 Volkswagen bus, so the protesters remain unappeased. Some of them even started going on and on about how vehicles can be powered with electricity nowadays. And these people say I am the crazy one? Come on.