What’s bright green and filled with gelatinous dark-centered translucent spheres? If you guessed “a pregnant frog,” that’s one possibility. But can you think of anything else? Go ahead, ponder for a moment. I’ll wait…
Did you guess “Pandan Drink with Basil Seed?” Good answer!
Let’s first figure out just what pandan drink is. Pandan is a versatile plant that can be used in a variety of ways. Two of the most common uses are as a flavoring in Southeast Asian cooking and as a natural cockroach repellent. Another use, as you can see here, is to make pandan drink. Pandan extract is often colored with green dye, and that’s what gives this bottle of pandan drink its uncannily fluorescent hue.
But, as you can see, this isn’t just a bottle of pandan drink. This is a bottle of Pandan Drink with Basil Seed. This raises two questions: who put basil seed in my pandan drink, and why in the world would they do such a thing? It certainly wasn’t the East Mangoustanis; they have bigger problems than me to deal with right now. The Vast Soursop Conspiracy is still in damage-control mode after my recent shocking revelations, so it couldn’t have been them. If the Europeans wanted to do something like this, they’d have to stop their frantic, round-the-clock production of hazelnut confections for a while. Since I haven’t heard anything about Europe being engulfed by filberts, I have to assume they had nothing to do with it.
With no evidence as to who put the basil seed in the pandan drink, I was left with no choice but to open the bottle and find out what would happen. I took a swig, and discovered that it was surprisingly sweet (somewhat sickeningly so) with several slippery spheres in every swallow. The basil seeds themselves weren’t nearly as unpleasant as I had expected, and if it hadn’t been so excessively sweet I would have actually enjoyed it. I never did figure out why basil seeds were added to the pandan drink, but I have to assume that whoever did it knew what they were doing.
Overall, if I had to use one word to describe this drink, it would be “unsettling.” Not because of the glowing green color or the unexplained presence of cooked basil seeds, but simply because the seeds never seem to settle. Even after shaking, the basil seeds never float to the top and never sink to the bottom. They stay exactly where they are, without budging even a bit. Unsettling indeed.
Also, in case you were wondering, no frog eggs were harmed in the production of this article. At least I hope no frog eggs were harmed in the production of this article.