Kras Dorina Riza

Posted by on June 10, 2012
Kraš Dorina Riža

Kraš Dorina Riža

Kraš seems to make everything in Croatia. They are the Acme of Eastern Europe, and somewhere in Zagreb an animated hedgehog is probably trying to use some Kraš-branded contraption to catch an animated plover. The hedgehog will inevitably fail, of course. Fortunately, we’re not in an episode of Hedgehog and Plover, so we can concern ourselves with chocolate instead.

“Još viže riže!” proclaims the package of the Kraš Dorina Riža chocolate bar. Unlike the Kraš Dorina Ledena bar, this one provides an explanation of its contents: “milk chocolate with puffed rice”. It’s a good thing too, since Agent Kimbel-Sannit wasn’t available to investigate another mysterious Dorina flavor. The Federal Bureau of Foreign Culinary Relations sent him on a diplomatic mission to smooth things over with the West Mangoustanis. It seems they were a bit offended by some comments he made about their beloved Chrysanthemum Drink, and they were threatening to release the regiment of rampaging rambutans if the situation wasn’t rapidly remedied. I hope they aren’t going to make him drink too much of that stuff while he’s there.

Anyway, the wrapper promises “još viže riže” in faux-Chinese script, and the bar certainly delivers on this claim. There is definitely now more rice. In fact, there’s so much rice, the bar seems to have achieved the maximum theoretical concentration of rice. One more grain might cause the whole thing to lose cohesion and disintegrate into a pile of puffed rice and chocolate crumbs. It’s not that there’s too much rice; it’s just that the bar couldn’t accommodate any more rice even if customers demanded it. And yes, I did say that this is puffed rice. It’s not the crisp rice you’d expect to find in an everyday chocolate bar; it’s puffed like the rice you find in healthy breakfast cereals.

The bar conveniently breaks apart into smaller bars, and the puffed rice makes for a very interesting flavor and texture. The ubiquitous comrades at Kraš have produced a winner here. It’s good enough that the hedgehog could use a piece of one to lure the plover into his trap. They plover would get away, because the plover always gets away, but at least the hedgehog would have the rest of the Kraš Dorina Riža bar. It could be worse for him.

One Response to Kras Dorina Riza

  1. Arren Kimbel-Sannit

    I’ve built up a natural immunity to castor oil and cyanide, but I am always foiled by the devilish Chrysanthemum drink.

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