Sunfeast Snacky Salted Biscuits

Posted by on June 13, 2012
Sunfeast Snacky Salted Biscuits

Sunfeast Snacky Salted Biscuits

Prepare yourself for the newest spectacular Bollywood sensation: Sunfeast Snacky Salted Biscuits starring Chilli Flakes! It’s an all-singing, all-dancing story of real tomatoes, mock lettuce (a favorite of mock turtles), and computer-generated cream cheese, with the dance stylings of none other than Mr. Chilli Flakes himself. Of course, this is supposed to be nothing more than a package of crackers, but I think there’s more going on here than meets the eye.

The Sunfeast Snacky package shows an illustration of “suggested toppings”, including real tomatoes and real cucumbers. Albeit, this cucumber is being held by the sun, so the accuracy is still questionable. What’s more bizarre is the appearance of a leaf of lettuce that has obviously never existed anywhere outside of a computer. Someone probably spent a lot of time drawing that bit of lettuce, and it seems like it would have been easier to simply take a picture of real lettuce. The C in Snacky is made of cream cheese, or at least an artist’s impression of cream cheese.

Furthermore, the package also includes a picture of a man who looks like he could be a Bollywood dancer. The all-caps billing for “CHILLI FLAKES” leads me to believe that this enigmatic fellow must be the star of the whole show here, and Chilli Flakes does sound like a perfectly good Bollywood name to me.

These crackers seem unassuming at first glance: they taste like dry Ritz crackers with a bit of hot pepper flavor. But I know there has to be more to it. The singing and dancing should start any minute. Everything with Chilli Flakes includes singing and dancing, right? That’s what makes it paisa vasool, after all.

On a related note, the Federal Bureau of Foreign Culinary Relations is currently investigating Mr. Chilli Flakes to determine if he is part of the Vast Soursop Conspiracy.

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