Posted by on July 3, 2012


It’s nice when the name of a product also tells you exactly what to do with it. That way you don’t have to waste your time reading the instructions. In this case, we have the delicious fruity snack (their words, not mine) known as Squez’N’Bites. These snacks come from Taiwan, so of course they are lychee flavored. Finding a fruit-flavored snack in Asia that doesn’t taste like lychee is about as difficult as finding a chocolate bar in Europe that doesn’t contain hazelnuts.

The snacks themselves consist of plastic cups containing clear gelatin with chunks of coconut inside. There’s also a bit of lychee-flavored liquid that tends to leak out when removing the foil cover from the cup. The cups are shaped like elongated, lopsided hearts, and there are unconfirmed rumors that this is done to make it less likely that cursed consumers will accidentally choke on these slippery snacks.

Of course, no one would choke if they would simply follow the instructions on the package: first squeeze (well, squez), then bite. Squez. Bite. Squez. Bite. Squez. Bite. Just like that. Where you get into trouble is when you forget that second step. If you just squez’n’squez, you’ll soon end up with a whole mouthful of Squez’N’Bites, and there’s no fancy heart-like shape that can save you from that fate.

The Squez’N’Bites snacks are actually quite tasty, with a flavor that is very close to that of actual lychees. The gelatin is vegetarian, and as such it has a different texture from that of traditional animal gelatin. The chunks of coconut also add some interesting flavor and texture. Overall, these do live up to the claim on the package: they are a “delicious fruity snack”. But whatever you do, please follow the instructions! Squee…no. Squez and bite. Don’t forget to bite!

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