GoJo Hands Free Adjustable Headset

Posted by on September 13, 2012

*Almost* Useful

Morning, readers

We at Armenian Fungus Cake understand the convenience of cell phones. We live busy lives, constantly on the go, trying new foods and beverages and making strange, but astute observations, and we need to be constantly communicating. However, sometimes, it’s hard to manage our lives when we have to hold those cumbersome, palm sized cell phones up to our faces. Some people remedy this with bluetooth headsets, which serve as miniature phones that rest in the user’s ear, and allow them to make and receive calls. They are very popular, even though they make the user look rather ridiculous, albeit successful.

But for some, like TV host Joe Gray (who hosts an infomercial about his own product–this product, for that matter, and nothing else), Bluetooth headsets just won’t do. Maybe they’re too expensive. Maybe you’re a selective Amish person, and you only use some technology. Maybe Bluetooth is simply too practical, and something else is simply a better alternative.

Well, for those people, TV host Joe Gray, who, as mentioned before, only hosts his own infomercial, invented the GoJo, which he humbly named after himself.

What exactly is the GoJo (Hands Free Adjustable Headset)? Does it use Bluetooth technology? Is it easy and convenient, even for someone not as genetically superior as TV host Joe Gray? Or is it none of these things?

TV Host Joe Gray watches you undress–his eyebrows approve

Well, it doesn’t use Bluetooth technology, as Bluetooth just makes too much sense, remember? It doesn’t make the user look like a professional idiot, either–just a regular idiot. In reality, the GoJo (used and created by TV host Joe Gray) is a glorified headband with a suction cup on one end and an annoying rubber tab on the other. The user puts his or her phone on the suction cup, and puts on the GoJo (by TV host Joe Gray) like he or she would a headband. Then, they can communicate on the phone with it held up to their ear by the GoJo (really, courtesy of TV host Joe Gray), which is held in place by the rubber tab, which uncomfortably rests on the temple, adjacent to the ear.

This is really the only function it serves, as in order to answer calls, make calls, or do anything else, the user has to remove the GoJo (did I mention it was created by TV host Joe Gray) and use their phone normally–with the exception of  the strange headband thing anchored to the back of said device. The GoJo (I guess you didn’t hear–it’s by TV host Joe Gray) packaging also makes the claim that it works for all phones, which isn’t exactly true, as anything that doesn’t have a completely flat surface doesn’t stick with the vanilla GoJo (TV host Joe Gray created it), and the adapter isn’t terribly functional. I also tried using the GoJo (TV host Joe Gray is the proprietor of this product) with my telephone from the 1950s, but it just dragged the GoJo

Some of those “Namely” people

(TV host Joe Gray…etc) off of my head and fell onto the floor, cracking a tile.

So, maybe the GoJo (TV host Joe Gray) isn’t exactly the best method of hands free communication, but for some, namely those who hate convenience and not looking completely stupid, it is simply the only option.

Regards,

Arren

10 Responses to GoJo Hands Free Adjustable Headset

  1. Joe Grey

    Hey Arren, do you have a thing for Joe Grey? Are you a jilted gay lover? hahaha

  2. Joe Grey

    PS. and fyi a blue tooth SUCKS.. an hour to program to your fone, + another 4 hourse EVERY NIGHT. and gotta where it around all day in case maybe a call comes? lol and you sound like your in a tunnel! At least the go jo uses your real phone. think micfly!

  3. Arren Kimbel-Sannit

    No, I’m not gay. Nor am I jilted. In fact, I’m very popular with TV hosts.

  4. Jane Air

    um, don’t all inventors name the product after themselves? Rubiks Cube, Ford Cars, Levi Jeans.. you not very smart huh? lol

  5. Jane Air

    you seem quite jealous caus you rite online for free and that guy do all that stuff and probly rich lol

  6. Arren Kimbel-Sannit

    First, the joke made here was not that he named it after himself, as you are right, to a point, at least. I riffed on how he used himself as some sort of celebrity endorsement. And why do you always post in pairs? Too stupid to summarize your thoughts in one comment, or just compensating for something else?

  7. Jane Air

    haha yes i am compensating as I must be in love with you cuas you are a broke smelly armenian gay wana be writer who is gay for TV hosts hahaha

  8. Jane Air

    I understand armenian men wipe there ass with their hands yes?

  9. Charma

    You come off ass a jealous hater.
    Gojoe guy is a millionaire and you poor write for a free blog.
    Awww… lol

  10. Arren Kimbel-Sannit

    I’m not Armenian. Or poor. Or smelly. Nor is this site totally free.

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