Calorie Balance

Posted by on October 18, 2012

Calorie Balance

Balance is important in all aspects of life. As an avid aficionado of sweet snacks, these Calorie Balance bars seemed like a good opportunity to introduce some, well, balance into the taste testing at Armenian Fungus Cake.

Unfortunately, I lost the label that contained the English explanation of these bars, so I was left trying to figure them out on my own. As far as I can tell, they contain approximately 8 centimeters of tropical fruit, as shown by the measuring tape on the front. They also cause multicolored orbs to circle around one’s torso, and they are useful for saving children (including children who are doing handstands). The back of the package is not helpful either, as it depicts the same 8 centimeters of fruit along with some kind of code that stubbornly refuses to scan.

With no clues to be found on the box, the only remaining option was to actually eat the Calorie Balance bars and try to determine what their effect would be. Once unwrapped, the bars exhibited a striking resemblance to dog biscuits. The flavor was bland, with a few bits of what seemed to be dried tropical fruit (certainly much less than 8 centimeters worth). As far as snacks go, these served primarily to leave a bad taste in my mouth which had to be taken away by eating a box of Išleri + Eurocrem = ♥♥♥ filled fatty biscuits.  Of course I didn’t worry about that, since the Calorie Balance bars balanced out those chocolate-coated filled fatty biscuits. That’s the way it works, isn’t it?

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