Ode to The Giant Dorito – Our 100th Post!

Posted by on January 1, 2013

The hue that appears nowhere else in nature.

In honor of the new year and our 100th non-meta post, here is the previously unpublished poem that started it all. Who knew that a fluorescent Mexican-inspired flatbread sandwich would lead to this?

NOTE: This poem has been heavily dramatized for narrative effect and may not reflect the actual composition of any particular taco, burrito, enchilada, tostada, tortilla chip, and/or sopaipilla.

O giant Dorito!
Thou encaseth my ordinary taco,
And surroundeth it with thine artificial nacho flavor.
Thine unnatural orange color doth appear upon my fingers,
Which marketh me as a servant of thy culinary majesty.

O giant Dorito!
Thou embraceth the seasoned meat,
And thou protecteth the grated cheese,
Though verily, it be processed cheese product
Of highly uncertain origin.

O giant Dorito!
Thou standeth beneath the sour cream,
And thou carryeth the diced tomato.
For verily it is written,
I didst pay 59 cents extra for these toppings.

O giant Dorito!
Nourish me with thine delectable goodness!
For thou art the largest Dorito.
Thou art the roundest Dorito.
Thou art the greatest Dorito.


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