SPAM

Posted by on January 10, 2013
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It comes in a can.

Afternoon, readers. Come Monday, we’ll return to the story of Mr. Blick. Until then, I’ll talk about a western classic: SPAM. For this article, I’ve written a quick little theme song for SPAM. For those of you that have the fortune of not knowing what SPAM is, it is canned meat product that is supposedly ham and comes in a can. It falls out of the can maintaining the shape of its former container, much like canned cranberry sauce. Try to imagine this song being sung by the male vocalist for the B-52s.

SPAM: IT COMES IN A CAN!

SPAM: YOU SEE IT IN A BOX!

SPAM: KIND OF BLAND!

SPAM: IT’LL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS (OFF)!

SPAM: SOME SAY IT TASTES LIKE HU-MANS

SPAM: COLOR OF BLANCHED STRAWBERRIES 

SPAM: ALSO SAID TO COME IN A TIN!

SPAM: IT REALLY IS NOT HAIRY

SPAM: ALTHOUGH I WOULD’NT BE SURPRISED IF IT WAS

SPAM: NOT DAINTY LIKE A FAIRY

SPAM: PROBABLY TASTES LIKE YOUR CUZ

SPAM: ALTERNATIVE TO CANNIBALISM 

SPAM: GOOD WITH PINEAPPLES

SPAM: EATEN BY THOSE WHO PRACTICE ANIMALISM

SPAM: TRY TO EAT WITH SNAPPLE

SPAM: FORM FITTED TO THE RECEPTACLE

SPAM: STICKS TO THE WALLS

SPAM: LIKE A MEAT FLAVORED POPSICLE

SPAM: MIGHT CONTAIN A FEW BALLS

SPAM: UGH.

Regards, Arren.

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