Afternoon, readers. Come Monday, we’ll return to the story of Mr. Blick. Until then, I’ll talk about a western classic: SPAM. For this article, I’ve written a quick little theme song for SPAM. For those of you that have the fortune of not knowing what SPAM is, it is canned meat product that is supposedly ham and comes in a can. It falls out of the can maintaining the shape of its former container, much like canned cranberry sauce. Try to imagine this song being sung by the male vocalist for the B-52s.
SPAM: IT COMES IN A CAN!
SPAM: YOU SEE IT IN A BOX!
SPAM: KIND OF BLAND!
SPAM: IT’LL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS (OFF)!
SPAM: SOME SAY IT TASTES LIKE HU-MANS
SPAM: COLOR OF BLANCHED STRAWBERRIES
SPAM: ALSO SAID TO COME IN A TIN!
SPAM: IT REALLY IS NOT HAIRY
SPAM: ALTHOUGH I WOULD’NT BE SURPRISED IF IT WAS
SPAM: NOT DAINTY LIKE A FAIRY
SPAM: PROBABLY TASTES LIKE YOUR CUZ
SPAM: ALTERNATIVE TO CANNIBALISM
SPAM: GOOD WITH PINEAPPLES
SPAM: EATEN BY THOSE WHO PRACTICE ANIMALISM
SPAM: TRY TO EAT WITH SNAPPLE
SPAM: FORM FITTED TO THE RECEPTACLE
SPAM: STICKS TO THE WALLS
SPAM: LIKE A MEAT FLAVORED POPSICLE
SPAM: MIGHT CONTAIN A FEW BALLS