Are you sick of your low-class leisure food lifestyle? Do you want more out of life than pork rinds, mini donuts, and corn dogs? You’re in luck, because now you can enjoy Great Burdock Biscuits from High Class Leisure Food! One bite of these classy crackers will cure you of unsophisticated snacking forever. No longer will you be baffled by brie or mystified by muenster. Instead of corn dogs, you’ll now eat skewered Frankfurt sausages wrapped in corn souffle with truffle aioli. Your mini donuts will magically become fried puff pastry rings with a dusting of cane juice crystals. As for pork rinds, well, those will always be pork rinds, since there’s really nothing you can do to make them sound classy.
And if you find that your high-class leisure food life just doesn’t satisfy you the way you thought it would, you can also use these crackers as a mild profanity to express your displeasure, as in, “Great Burdock Biscuits, those tasted terrible!”