With the recent reunification of Mangoustan, things have been relatively quiet at the Federal Bureau of Foreign Culinary Relations. This has allowed us to catch up on some cold cases, such as the mystery of frozen snake gourd. It’s been nearly a year since we first started investigating this secretive serpentine vegetable, and in that time we discovered that it’s really quite unsuitable for eating. Even when sprinkled with cumin powder, it was quite bitter and rather slimy.
We were about to give up on this case altogether when we finally bothered to actually read the file. It turns out that the case had come from a secret didgeridoo cartel that operates from the basement of a Tim Hortons on Prince Edward Island. Their shipment of snake gourd had been hijacked by a group calling itself Le Société Serpent Végétal. Apparently, there’s a group of people who believe that the use of snake gourds to make didgeridoos is an egregious violation of snake-gourdian rights. For some reason, eating the snake gourd isn’t a problem. It’s just the making of didgeridoos that’s gets them riled up.
I suppose this all would have been very interesting last year, but we were busy with other obligations and we can’t drop everything to investigate the multitude of cases that come in to the FBFCR from various cartels on Prince Edward Island. For future reference, such complaints should be directed to the Royal Canadian Mounted Gourmands.
Anyway, sorry, secret didgeridoo cartel. I hope you eventually found your shipment of snake gourd. And you might want to relocate to a BeaverTails or something, since I think your cover has been blown.