ETi Cin Orange Jelly Biscuits

Posted by on March 20, 2014
Don't eat them after midnight!

Don’t eat them after midnight!

We’ve got a problem here, people. We bought a pack of these delicious ETi Cin Orange Jelly Biscuits, but we didn’t follow the instructions. Sure, they tasted great with their crispy cookie, sweet orange jelly, and chocolate flavored sprinkles. I mean, does it get any better than chocolate sprinkles on a cookie? But in our sugar-induced stupor, we neglected to observe a very important admonition on the package. At the very end of the ingredient list was a small warning: “Keep out of direct sunlight.”

I don’t really understand how someone is supposed to have a twelve-hour snack binge…I mean a carefully planned taste test…without eventually ending up sprawled out in the middle of a field at high noon. In any case, the happy smiling orange jelly biscuits ended up being exposed to direct sunlight. Yes, I know they tried to warn us, but they didn’t warn us that they would turn into giant rampaging quail eggs with red eyes and giant teeth. Of all the horrifying possibilities, this was the worst. It took us several days just to overcome the smell. Once we could finally get back into the headquarters, it took quite a while to fend off these odoriferous ova. We’re still fumigating some of the lesser-used parts of the FBFCR offices, such as room where we keep George the dressage parakeet. It’s a good thing parakeets don’t eat much, since we forget about him from time to time.

So while these ETi Cin Orange Jelly Biscuits are a delicious explosion of citrusy chocolatey contentment, please make sure to follow all of the warnings on the label. You really don’t want a load of angry quail eggs on your hands.

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