Today we bring you the story of Papa Puff Honey Melon Flavor corn puffs. Well, not the real story, since there is already a story of Papa Puff on the back of the package. We consider this to be completely unacceptable, as it is our job to come up with fanciful stories inspired by fluorescent green corn puffs. Accordingly, the actual story of Papa Puff will not be reproduced here. Instead, we will express our disapproval by calling your attention to some of the irregularities involving Papa Puff and his green melon-flavored corn curls.
First of all, the Papa Puff Honey Melon Flavor corn puffs are a very disturbing shade of green and are shaped like small caterpillars. The color would be much less disturbing on a caterpillar, but we are operating on the assumption that Papa Puff would not feed us caterpillars.
This green color becomes even more unsettling when one realizes that Papa Puff’s hair, mustache, and beard have all taken on the same hue as the Honey Melon Flavor corn puffs. While honey melon puffs are obviously quite delicious, we are still debating whether or not it is worth turning that color in exchange for all that honey melony goodness. This is not to say that turning green isn’t part of our grand plan. It’s just that Papa Puff Honey Melon Flavor corn puffs might not be the way we choose to do it.
Finally, the way in which Papa Puff delivers the Honey Melon Flavor corn puffs strikes us as a bit unorthodox. It would appear that he regurgitates them from his mouth, much in the way a mother bird would feed a baby bird. I mean, it’s unlikely that a bird would feed its offspring anything as sugar-laden and brightly colored as Papa Puff Honey Melon Flavor corn puffs, but if Papa Puff were a mother bird and you were a baby bird, it sure looks like you’d be in for a mouthful of regurgitated corn puffs.
Of course all of this matters little to Papa Puff, as he’s off having whatever adventure was detailed on the back of the bag of corn puffs. Again, that adventure will not be discussed here, because coming up with stuff like that is supposed to be our thing.